FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
