Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize