You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
