im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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