I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize