He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
