Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
