but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
