i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Randomize
