I'm laying in your front yard are you home
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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