Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
