I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
