Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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