My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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