we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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