Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You're like the curious george of whores
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
