I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
