I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
