Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
operation harelip BJ is a go
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
