he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
