I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
