I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
