You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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