you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Come see our sink grown plant.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
