You work out of a Hotel?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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