Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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