I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
