i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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