saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
