i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
