Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh god it's open bar.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
