you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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