Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
