It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
