I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
