You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
