He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Drunk is not a location!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
