you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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