I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
