Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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