normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
