If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize