I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
