I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
