No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
where are my eyebrows?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
