just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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