Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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