bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I need to stop coming to work sober
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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