So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
