Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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