some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
