I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
