Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
