K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
