About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
