Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
