I got chris browned last night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
