Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Randomize
