her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize