In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
