I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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