she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
