Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
