I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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