i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
